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 Posted 5/13/2008 12:00:00 AM
So my friends, you hear ‘bout the latest toxic product scare?On Friday, Health Canada is gonna publish a list o’ 17 different substances that might soon be labelled as bein’ toxic, includin’ one ingredient that you might be chewin’ on every day. Damn!That’s right, one o’ the substances that looks like it’s gonna be named to this list is called vinyl acetate and it gits used all the time as a base in chewin‘ gum. Damn! Studies conducted by the International Agency for Research on Cancer has found evidence that vinyl acetate could be linked to cancer in lab rats.Vinyl acetate? WTF!? Now I ain’t ezactly Antoine Lavoisier o’ nothin, but damn! I’m fairly certain that $!@#t would be a better ingredient in linoleum than somethin’ you chew on! $!@#, the tobacco companies gots the last laugh on this one. "Try out it out, everybody! The safe alternative to bubble gum! Tasty chewin‘ tobacco!"Damn!...
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Posted 5/12/2008 12:00:00 AM
Well Happy Manitoba Day all my funky friends! You didn’t know that today was Manitoba Day? No, I didn’t either. Damn! But apparently, it’s true. The Province o‘ MB turned 138 today. 138 years old. That might esplain the potholes – kinda like serious cottage cheese ass o’ somethin’. Damn! Innarestingly enough the only person that seems to be rappin‘ about Manitoba Day is Larry McIntosh. Yeah, that dude from Peak o’ the Market. I only read a hard copy o‘ his thoughts on the matter, didn’t see no press conference. If there was one I’m sho’ he woulda thought it would be funny if he rapped into a carrot stuck in a mic stand. Larry seems like a nice enough dude but I swear to God that if he pulled out a carrot and started rappin’ into while I was standin‘ within arms reach, I would feel obligated to punch him in the face. $!@t, man, I get it, we all get it – you sell vegetables. Damn!
Happy Birthday, Manitoba! No let’s git this $!@# turned into a stat holiday, awight?
Damn!...
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Posted 5/8/2008 12:00:00 AM
Well friends, I’m sho‘ you heard about this one today. I’m guessin’ there is one red-faced Tim Horton’ manager out there right now. Damn!
If you missed it – here’s what happened. A woman named Nicole Lilliman was fired from a Tim Horton’s in London, ON on Wednseday fo’ givin’ the kid of a regalar customer a free Timbit. Seriously. Damn! 19 mutha!@#$in’ cents a Timbit costs. To make one? I’m guessin’ a nickel, tops.
When the owner o‘ the location found out what happened he offered the woman her job back and chalked the firin’ up to a overzealous manager.
Let’s rap on overzealous managers fo’ a moment, shall we? You ever work fo’ one o’ these d*ckless !@#$s before? Unbelievable! These retail-type managers almost always fit the same profile. Completely talent less individuals, devoid o’ any social graces and completely miserable with themselves and the world around them. The only reason they git outta bed in the mornin’ is because o’ the glimmer o‘ hope that they might git to $!@# in somebody's cornflakes and completely ruin their day. Coupled wit’ the fact that they know only too well that every single person workin’ unner them is ten times smarter than...
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